Detachment Parenting

I have been seeing a lot of literature on a relatively new trend in parenting with an emphasis on what is called detachment parenting. Generally speaking, detachment parenting only warns against parents becoming overly obsessive in the lives of their children. In its intended purpose, detachment parenting is a healthy and positive approach to parenting which addresses the issues of the parent more so than the child.

It does not condone willful emotional neglect as a parenting strategy. Detachment parenting is a sound approach to parenting, but has inadvertently, shed light on some questionable established parenting strategies. There are many books written on various strategies to help guide parents in the sometimes trying task of raising an emotionally healthy child.

The obvious problem with all of these strategies is that every child is unique and one strategy may not be ideal for every child. Controversial examples include allowing an infant child to cry rather than pick it up. Although children do learn to experiment with power plays at a young age, it is not known if infants have developed the scruples to use their screams and howls as a tool to manipulate their parents. Infants can only cry to convey their pain, sickness or fear.

In this regard, parents read the strategy and acknowledge the PhD of the source, but responsible parents would rather be safe than sorry with crying infants. Other published parenting strategies would seem to suggest that children are simply small adults. Disciplinary methods, developing a rapport, even the topic of sex and drug education have admittedly, acknowledged shortcomings. The problem suggests that child brain development is a factor in the effectiveness of raising a child.

Responsible parents acknowledge the PhD of the sources and address these methods, rapport and the topics of sex and drugs by focusing on the well developed aspects of the child’s brain. These include, competition, peer recognition and consequence association. An emphasis on teaching general responsibility and leadership encompasses many of the lessons we wish to teach our children.

Without flying in the face of the entire body of established parental research by accredited and noted child psychologists, we have simply suggested a few objective considerations. As a general rule, responsible parents acknowledge the sources of suggested parenting strategies, but also acknowledge there is no child in the world like theirs.

Reference: 

Benign Neglect - An anthropologist looks at contemporary parenting, by David F. Lancy, Ph.D.

Image Credit: Creative-Commons-Attribution-2.0-Generic-license – Attribution: “Mike” Michael L. Baird